Single geeky female... fitness fanatic?

I read in an article just before I left New Zealand about how people on their OE get a little… lets be P.C. and say rounder. Every time I've been to the States I have put on weight, especially the extremely memorable trip a couple of years ago when I was stateside for four months. On that occasion I came home with more than just wonderful memories & great stories. Something like an extra 5 kilograms or so, maybe a few more if I try that pesky honesty thing again. This trip I am nowhere near the four month mark. Hell, we aren't even at the two month mark & already I'm not happy with what I'm seeing in the mirror or how awkward it is getting those jeans on! It has been a running joke of the trip, that every time someone sees a photo of me I am eating something, and while I've definitely been enjoying all of the amazing food, I know that I haven't been doing anywhere near enough of the other stuff, you know, the exercise and healthy eating to balance out the 'treats' I've been allowing myself. 

So today I've decided. Now I know that this trip, this OE is already a game changer. I'm doing this trip for the experience, to learn new things, experience something vastly different to what I know & to grow as a person. Not to grow into a larger - fat - version of myself! Because of that I thought why not? Why not do something that if I was braver I would have admitted I wanted to try a long time ago, something that will, hopefully, "kill two birds with the one stone". Why not challenge the voice in my head telling me I can't do it, or that I'll have to admit to failure - something I hate to do, and that makes my hands clench just thinking about it. I want to "try", I have to use that works as I really am going into this one not knowing if it will work.

I want to run. 

To bike for more than 5 kilometers. 

At this point you might be thinking, depending on how well you know me, variations on "that isn't so hard" or "she has finally gone crazy". I know that I have done some biking over the past twelve months, but I want to be able to accomplish something that I set myself to. Be able to ride for longer than half an hour without feeling like I might die! Prove that I can set my mind to a fitness goal and achieve it. Now I know that will be easier said than done. I have asthma and I think have so often used that as a crutch over the years. An excuse to get out of things, even to myself as reasons why I shouldn't or couldn't run, or even exercise in general. I also am really good at making those excuses to myself, "You went to the gym yesterday so you don't have to today" or the one that even I don't really believe when I'm thinking it "Of course the calories from this cookie/chocolate/fried anything don't count" 

Right now if I gave my all I could probably run for two minutes before having to stop, really stop, heaving for breath not just slowing down. You may think I'm underestimating things somewhat, but sadly I'm really not. I think it would be quite fitting to set the goal that, by the end of this eighteen months trip I want to be able to run eighteen kilometres. Hell I want to be able to run eighteen miles. I think that this is setting myself quite a long term goal, and again, this distance is probably something that many of you could already do, or don't consider that it would take so long to achieve. But for me, for Becky Walsh, unlikely exerciser definitely-not-extraordinaire its gonna be bloody hard work. I have started a little bit. Four days at the gym last week, but I think its probably better if I give myself an official start date. An official point that I'll put on my calendar as the day I stop trying to make fitness excuses. I think it would be kinda cool to make it November 1st. I know I'll remember it, and it gives me a fresh start in a fresh month. After all I never was one for being traditional, who wants to have a resolution at the beginning of the year anyway? 

I will definitely be joining a gym and working out as many times as I can in a week, I want to try zumba and see if the personal training sessions my best friend raves about are all they're cracked up to be. I am still so excited to be getting out there and seeing as much as I can of my newly adopted homeland for the next eighteen months, but really as well as that, I want to run. To be able to try all those experiences that I would otherwise say I wouldn't be able to do. To hike, horse ride, to build the stamina and strength in my own body and be proud of what I achieve. Even if after all that I still feel like those damn pants don't look as good as they should, well I just don't know, I hope I will still be pretty damn proud of myself! 

So what do you think guys? Achievable or have I really bitten off more than I can chew this time? Either way I'm pretty excited for the next few months! 

Single Geeky Female .. Spends a weekend at a Supernatural Convention (Part 1)

The trip to Dallas this year was something I had been so excited about for a few reasons. Partly because it was the official start to my adventuring, I had never been to Texas, hadn't been to anywhere in the US other than the West Coast. More importantly to me, our main reason for heading to Texas was to attend another Supernatural fan convention. I don't pretend to be anything other than a giant geek, wouldn't even try too (nobody would believe me!!) but Supernatural has always been a very special show for me. It started when I was 19, I had been a fan of many different genre shows and movies up to that point but this was the first show that really gripped me when I was an adult. I had money, more independence - although I still lived at home - so I had more means to embrace my inner geek in a way that I couldn't have before. 

By the time I was 21 I was in a job I loved, working for a book retailer - the same one that I have only recently left - and combining that with my ever present poor impulse control I ended up, while at work one morning, buying non-refundable tickets to my very first convention - on the other side of the world. I even managed to convince my then sixteen year old little sister to come along with me. That trip was the first time I had travelled abroad without an adult, first time that I had been the responsible one, and of course, first time that I attended a full-on genre convention. I can unequivocally state that it changed my life. Without that trip, that moment of insanity when I first booked the tickets, without meeting the friends, best friend, that I met there, without having that amazing experience - I wouldn't have had the confidence to do any of the other traveling that I've done since. Or if I had I'm sure it would have been at a much slower, more safe-boring-Becky pace, certainly not another trip less than six months later! As it was it has quickly became routine to go to a convention every year and after having been to Vancouver for the last 3 years, Dallas was going to be an exciting change of scenery, as well as being the home city for one of the shows stars. 

Dallas in September, I am reassured, isn't as hot as Dallas in July or August - but even so, for a girl from New Zealand who normally travels to equally temperate locations, it was hot. And not just "Oh how lovely and warm" warm, more "How does anyone function here?" hot! It was quite a shock to get off the plane from Seattle, immediately the temperature change hit me. It's the kind of dry heat that we just don't get at home - and I'm pretty sure I haven't ever sweat as much in my life as that weekend! The hotel we were staying in was outside Downtown Dallas, about a half an hours drive north. The city, from the small section of it I saw on that drive, mostly of the freeway, showed a city that was very much built up commercial space, highways and strip malls. When we finally did make it to the hotel, I started to think about the most important things - was there a pool? Yes - I never ended up using it but thats another matter entirely. Did the air conditioning work? Too well - but once again that's another story. Which leaves the other most important thing - especially during a convention weekend - what was going to be for dinner?. Meals once the Convention weekend gets underway usually end up being few & far between, especially if, as often happens, you end up in a hotel room without a mini-fridge & far away from any local amenities. Dinner is usually the one meal that I tend to be most enthusiastic for and the best part of it is that we got to go out and experience some truly wonderful Texan food, including TexMex that first night. I have had the Pacific North West version of Mexican food but TexMex certainly seems, at least to my pallet, to be far spicier!!. 

Now you've probably already guessed that this isn't going to be a specific con report like some of those I have eagerly read on Superwiki (these will provide you with far more info that I could ever hope too: http://www.supernaturalwiki.com/index.php?title=Supernatural_Wiki) I wish that I could be one of those people who take notes during panels, but for the most part I'm usually so busy laughing, groaning, cheering or occasionally wincing at the questions and replies that I am never able to focus on anything else! Thursday night, post the really amazing but really hot food - which taught me another important lesson, that I really cannot handle even the food termed "mild" - we went to take advantage of the early-check-in being offered by Creation. It turned out that this was a really good decision but more on that later. It is one of those funny things, being at a Creation Con. Its always hurry up and wait, we never turn up early enough to be at the start of the line, but are usually early enough that we don't end up spending more than a couple of hours in line. Its also wonderful how many people in the line have come so far, or not, to go to these gatherings. While I think the vast majority of the people attending this convention did come from either Texas or at least the Southern States, it also makes me feel better to know that their are so many others, like me, who have flown half way around the world to show their love for this program. Fangirls, and an amazing turn out of fanguys - which may be unique to Texas - are a friendly bunch and I have forged many enduring friendships over the past four years in the various weekend lines! 

Friday morning, after deciding not to turn any alarms on, since we had already gotten our entry wristbands & lanyards & so didn't have to queue again to get in, the first panel wasn't until 1pm, we woke up and I had more than a small amount of panic to discover that it was almost 12. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but I'm the kind of girl who panics when she feels like she's running late - I hate to be late, and after my amazing, extremely embarrassing experience at VanCon last year I was determined to be on time. I should also mention how this keenness & determination on my part perhaps comes off a little bit crazy & dare I say it unhinged. At least given my roommates reactions that's how I would suggest it appears to others. Sufficing to say, we made it down there on time - just, me rushing around like a headless chicken & my friends calmly readying themselves for the day. It was a comparatively short one as Fridays go, there were only the two guest scheduled to have panels. Chad Lindberg & Gabriel Tigerman. There was also of course the always amazing karaoke party but that wasn't due to start until 10.30pm. Even though I had seen both guys before, in fact there weren't any scheduled guests that I hadn't seen already, it is always so amazing to be there amongst your fellow fans & you never know what they are going to say - or do at a con! 

Chad Lindberg - as seen between fellow attendees 

One of my favourite panels at any convention is Chad Lindberg's, he is one of my all time favourite convention guests, not because he's particularly funny or crazy - that would be Sebastian Roche - but Chad, like Jim Beaver is one of those guys who I could listen to talk all day. I just love his quirkiness, and how cool he is. Anyway I gush. Perfect way to start a Convention off!! 

Gabe - Gabriel Tigerman - came on shortly after & he is a blast. He was only in two episodes of the show but he is FUNNY, especially when he is telling us all about his cotton ball phobia (?!) & I have a special soft spot for him since he's the very first celebrity that my sister and I ever officially met. It was at an autograph signing in the merchandise room during the Los Angeles Con, Lissy & went so red and he was very sweet, it was a very cool moment. The main thing that stays with me during a Gabe panel is that we laugh. Like out loud, falling over, going red, side hurting laughing. Do any of the specifics stick with me now, several weeks later? Not so much, but like I said - I'm never going to be that person who can do the blow by blow accounts! One of the other main highlights of that panel that does stick in the mind was the sudden appearance of Matt Cohen, wearing rather loud shorts and a tank top. Now Matt appearing wearing jeans & a shirt would have been exciting enough, but just the wonder that was the print of those pants - it was clearly overwhelming for the audience, myself included!

Gabe Tigerman

One of the best parts of a Supernatural Convention for me are the Karaoke parties. Yes, they usually run late and are held when I normally I just want to be sleeping & no, I would never think of getting on stage with a mic myself but I seriously love just being one of the crowd. Everyone is pushing ever closer to the stage, singing, dancing & sweating together - including the celebrities which at any other time of the weekend are usually kept carefully separate from the fans. I especially love it when the crowd favourite songs come on. Be it Kansas's "Carry on my Wayward Son" or the B52's "Loveshack, "YMCA" or the "Timewarp" - the guy who performed that for us this year, was amazing, he was part of a theatre group that had performed the show & he was Riff Raff. Wonderful as the karaoke always is, after four hours my voice is always mostly gone, its generally well after 2am and it is so nice to stumble, or in my case hobble, back to your hotel room. This year, unusually for us, we had booked a room inside the hotel that was hosting the convention. Although there was always congestion at the elevators it was a nice change to be able to get to the room so quickly so you can pretty much stumble into bed after setting an alarm for tomorrow! Couldn't risk a repeat performance of that first mornings excitement. 

Es & I, with the Karaoke kings Matt Cohen (l) & Richard Speight Jr (r)

Single Geeky Female... wrote a letter

I have been thinking a lot about what being a Supernatural fan means to me lately, especially since the start of the new season and with the writing I have been doing about my Dallas Convention experience. 

Earlier this year when the author John Passarella was having a competition for people to have their name in the Supernatural companion novel "Rite of Passage" he asked for people to submit to him an essay of sorts. The theme was "How Supernatural has changed your life" and I immediately sat down & wrote this. I haven't - until now - showed it to anyone, other than Mr Passarella of course, but was very gratified when I was one of the people whom he chose to feature in the novel. I think now is probably a pretty good time to share what I wrote, it ties in nicely with the Dallas post, that will be put up tomorrow, and of course to share my love with some of the amazing people in my life! 

This is the letter in its entirety.  

Hello John

My name is Rebecca Walsh & I am a passionate Supernatural fan. One who watches every episode over & over, becomes obsessed with what every small nuance could mean & cries when the characters are in pain. More importantly though I love it because it has changed my life. I was one of the shy people who took forever to make friends & never went out of their comfort zones. I would travel but not as much as I dreamed & never without my family. I had big dreams but never anticipated any of them coming true. On impulse - complete & utter, there are no other words to describe it - I took my entire paycheck one day 3 years ago & brought a ticket to my very first Supernatural convention. It was to be held in Los Angeles, California USA 6 months hence & I was in New Zealand, never having travelled further from my home country that the 3 hour flight to Sydney to stay with relatives. I had no idea how I would get there or even how to organize such a trip but I knew that the ticket was non-refundable - as well as being the reason I was now basically penniless for a fortnight - so I was determined to make the most of it.

On that trip I met the person who is now my best friend. She lives in the US & since meeting her as well as a whole host of other like minded 'fangirls' my whole world has opened up. I travel regularly to the US & have seen things that I had never thought I would, snow for one - in fact I have lived in the US for several months & am in the process of trying to get a Canadian working VISA so that I can stay on the continent longer - & earn money doing it. I have a years long email conversation with a friend from Canada who I chat to sometimes daily about plot points from the show - as well as plotting & planning dream trips to other conventions held around the US, Dallas this year, with hopefully a trip to New Orleans in the works. In fact I talk to all of these new friends a daily or weekly basis - they are my some of my greatest supporters & I now couldn't imagine life without them. If it hadn't been for that one moment of impulsive madness, brought about for my total love for this amazing show, I know that I would probably still just be the girl who lives at home & dreams of going places & doing things that I probably never would have the guts to do.

I LOVE THIS SHOW - my love of it has changed my life, so much for the better.

Thanks for reading

Single geeky female.... makes it to NYC!

Before you start to read this I would like to mention that I have basically abandoned the actual timeline of this trip. Rather than running in chronological order, they will be posted in the order of what I wanted to write about first (so THERE!) - that said, if I have any success at all with the narrative it should all still make sense & be... well at least as informative as these ever turn out to be! 

New York City - Day 8 in the US.

Having been planning this trip for so many months, and based on past form, it shouldn't have surprised me that I would be so unprepared for this trip to New York. Of course I think it is part of my "thing" in life that I will probably always be surprised - so for all the journeys from now on I will simply stick with the theory that, yes - of course the world is bigger, better & so wildly different to expectations than one could ever imagine (well its either that or I just accept that I seem to have a naivety about that world that will hopefully never go away). 

One of the most important things that I should say, as part of my continuing hope that this blog will eventually prove useful to at least one person planning a trip - is that NYC isn't always how it seems in the guidebooks. At least it wasn't what I  had taken from the guidebooks. Going in I was pretty sure that I had a good idea of how it was going to work. It would be expensive, loud, overwhelming and overflowing with people - those people would be the stereotypical New Yorkers that I had grown up seeing in so many different TV shows & movies. And most especially, from that little voice in the back of my head which always warns me not to get my hopes up too high, I worried that it wouldn't be all I'd hoped, that I might not like it even. That regardless of the history, the scenery & the sheer NEW YORK of it all, I would still find it less than what I had so wanted it to be. I am so happy to type, especially having come straight from Dallas, which ended up being so unlike what I had expected (and will be the subject of another story) to the "Big Apple" that New York lived up to all of its hype. And then some. 

We flew into NYC on the cheapest flights we could find, this meant a short, unremarkable layover in Charlotte, North Carolina before touching down at JFK just after 3pm. I must confess that I'd consumed a bag of licorice on the flight & so landed with a rather challenging, though well deserved case of motion-sickness. I can emphatically recommend that no-one try to replicate that decision. Ever. Even if it is strawberry flavored. And brought in from Australia. 

With the direction of the plane coming into the airport we hadn't been able to see any of those famous views so it was with some anticipation that we collected our luggage & set about organizing our way into the city. 

Now here I go into disclaimer mode again. Just before this next bit, I want to clarify that in NO way am I complaining about the service from the Super Shuttle driver, they were by far the most economical way to travel (US$18 per person direct to the hotel door) & there was only about a ten minute wait for them to arrive. Right thats out of the way, now on with the story. 

By this point in the day we were more than slightly jet lagged, or perhaps more appropriate to say would be that we were "travel-lagged" having started off before 5am that morning in Dallas. The driver helpfully packed our bags into the van & then after collecting the other customers, to fill the van, we were off. I know I just made a big song & dance about NYC not being the way I had anticipated, but there is one thing that is pretty much exactly the experience you expect it to be - it is JUST as bad being on the roads around & in NYC as you would imagine. Horns seemed to be blaring constantly, used, it felt, to punctuate their own special language. Everything from "the light has changed" to "hi, hello, excuse me" and escalating to "You M*ther F**ker, get out of my way" - although it did seem that the latter option was far more prevalent. Lanes seem to be more suggestion that anything else, and as always seems to confuse my New Zealand sensibilities red lights don't always seem to mean stop! Our shuttle driver informed us as we cut our way through the traffic - that the President was in town, & this, he said was the reason for the increased Police presence & helped to explain why so many roads seemed blocked off. Even to a first time visitor it had seemed like an unusually large number, even slightly worrying so that there would be as many police normally congregating on street corners so it was both a relief, as well as being rather thrilling to think that we were sharing the same 22 square mile island with the leader of arguably the most powerful nation in the world. It was shortly after that announcement, which seemed to go down well with his passengers that our driver started to become more open with us, sharing with us some of his personal details. That he is from Haiti & works all the hours he can so that he can send money home, oh & of course that he doesn't want to upset any of the aforementioned police that we are passing as they are liable to simply "shoot him in the street". He even went so far as to tell us a story of police officers doing this seemingly without provocation to an unarmed girl a couple of weeks before. By this stage both myself & my traveling companion were looking at each other disbelievingly, and if I might add cynically, unsure if this was just him angling for a bigger tip, especially for performing his job in such dangerous circumstances. And hey, if we did clutch at our seats a wee bit tighter, well surely that was just because of the driving!!. 

By the time that we made it to the hotel, it was for me pure relief, less the excitement of finally being in the midst of the city, and more that I could imagine nothing better that stretching out - horizontally - for an hour or so & hopefully being able to make use of a reliable wifi source - our luck up to this point had been spotty at best and I was going through withdrawals!. 

I am feeling that this may once again require a disclaimer from me… Actually perhaps I should use this moment to disclaim any and all further comments that I may make in this blog? I am not setting out to portray anything negatively, rather just the honest reaction that I had to what was going on, I feel that the experience we had in NYC was amazing & we couldn't have done it, especially with the budget we had, without being able to find this hotel and take advantage of the very cheap rate ( the room for two people is US$150 per night, excl. taxes) they were offering. 

The Jane hotel ( www.thejanenyc.com ) is right across the street ( the FDR, one of the major access multilane roadways in the city )  from the Hudson River, & has been in operation over 100 years. If we believe the website, some of the Titanic survivors were taken here after finally making it to New York. It has a wonderful ambience, uniformed porters with smart caps to open doors as well as a well air-conditioned lobby, really all we could ask for at that moment. The room when we finally made it, was to be honest, pretty much exactly what I had been expecting from my research. Fifty square feet (there is a communal bathroom at each end of the floor) bunk beds, and a mirror running the entire right hand side of the space, intended to make the room appear larger. I do have mild claustrophobia but like I said, I had known it would be small, had chosen the room in spite of this, as it gave us the best bang for our buck. My traveling companion was slightly less excited about this prospect than me, but she made the most of the situation and within a couple of hours we had made the place our own & settled in. A quick walk around the neighborhood, which is right on the edge of the Meat Packing & Chelsea districts and on a very safe, well lit mostly residential street and we made our way to the local, fairly reasonably priced deli to purchase dinner & sat eating under streetlights on the lovely river adjacent walk and cycle way with the breeze of the river providing a beautiful contrast to the oppressive heat of Dallas we had left behind. All in all it had been a good day, with a frenetic pace that would become the theme of this trip! 

The view of the Hudson River walkway, the tall tower under construction at the right of the picture is the new Liberty Tower. 1 World Trade Centre. 

Single geeky female .. gets packed up

Two weeks to go!! 

Over the weekend, with almost military-grade precision I was packed & ready to go. I feel I must clarify this to give you an idea of the degree of difficulty this involved, and to give you an indication of how much thanks I once again owe to the very-important-people in my life!! 

I have inherited a lot of things from my mum (I know, this seems like a tangent but don't worry it will very shortly become relevant). For example I have her nose, her hair, even the less exciting things like the Asthma & bad eyesight - but one of the ways I think I most strongly resemble her is our minor "pack-rat" tendencies. Don't get me wrong this doesn't bother me at all (seriously I'm much more upset about the nose ;) - LOVE YOU MUM!!) but it does cause a few issues when one is moving to the other side of the world & standing considering their bedroom full of crap. I say "crap" of course in the nicest possible sense, after all it is all my stuff to begin with. Bestest friend over the weekend was slightly less PC (& slightly more truthful) & kept referring to it as piles of SH-- you get the point. 

One of the major hurdles that was left between me & leaving has been this room. I couldn't in good conscience leave all of that stuff as it was, I'm not planning on being home for a long time & when I am its pretty likely that dealing with the contents of my former room will be fairly low on the agenda. I also think that the idea of it had been holding me back - it seems so final - of course I know that regardless of whether or not I clean the room this last countdown is on - only two weeks to go now - but holding back on doing it was helping me cling to the comforting idea that it wasn't really real. Of course other people might also add that it was just because I didn't want to have to tidy it all up, in all fairness that was probably a big influence as well!! 

Now it's about this time, while standing looking down at the looming piles of evidence of your own pack-"rattiness" that you want to be able to look to either side of you & see your best friend & your ten-year-old little sister. Or at least I do. Best friend, going through the far more normal-than-me experiences of moving house for her international exchange in High school & University & work has oodles of experience with moving. She was confident that we would make it through & achieve what seemed to me an impossible task and, as only someone with her inspiring determination (and ability to put up with or ignore my childish whining) she of course succeeded. 

I think, as sometimes happens with me, that I may be slightly overemphasising the extent of my own mess - for example you won't see me on the next series of "Hoarders" but we did - "we" of course referring to my two, sometimes three helpers - managed to sort, throw & pack me almost completely in the space of two days. This included four large size rubbish bags of stuff-I-really-shouldn't-have-kept-all-these-years, five stacks of books to donate, six storage boxes of stuff-that-even-though-I'm-leaving-the-country-I-just-cant-live-without-and-so-must-be-stored-indefinitely & my medium size suitcase & hopefully-not-oversize carry-on backpack.  Really I'm tired just writing that! 

After the packing was all done, bestest friend had left back to Auckland & the family was downstairs I came back up to my room to look around. It is still surprising to me, especially given that I have written several times now about how "it is all finally starting to seem real" that its not until that moment it finally sunk in. This is what my old life looks like if I'm not in it. Crazy to think, given all the times that Ive been away on trips, even a 4 month stay a couple of years ago, that this is it. Life is going to go on without me - the 10 year old is moving into my room (so it probably won't be this tidy for long!) & I'm really leaving. IN.. FOURTEEN.. DAYS!! I still don't think I'm ready - as it gets closer I get more apprehensive, but I'm excited as well - this is going to be the biggest challenge & stretch of myself that I could have possibly chosen. I hope that I will succeed, but I know now - especially given the evidence of this past weekend that I can't do it alone. 

So thank you Emma, Stephy & Mum - for getting me packed, even if, especially if I complained about some (or most) of it!!! I love y'all very very much. 

Single geeky female... hits a road bump

I'm typing this, awkwardly & one-handed knowing that I am now 30 days away from leaving for my adventure. As my best friend, and all of my immediate & not-so immediate family can attest I am a pretty serious planner & organiser. As always seems to happen with me I thought I knew pretty much how these last few weeks before I leave were going to go. I would work, & probably even if I didn't intend it I was fairly confident that I would have begun resenting being there & not planning my trip or - even better already gone. I thought that I would be spending as much time as possible with my family, with our dog, exercising (to fulfil my lifelong fantasy of my legs looking amazing in that pair of jeans) & on my few weekends off I would be spending with friends - both those I see often & those I never seem to have enough time to spend with. As per usual for me, best laid plans and all that, this isn't how it has been happening. Don't get me wrong some of it is happening. The family dog & I have spent so much quality time together these last couple of weeks that I fear we are both becoming codependent. So much quality time that I'm having a hard time imagining leaving HER. Unfortunately for both of us however we haven't spent any of the past couple of weeks with us taking long blissful walks & exercising. As seems the norm for me with the plans that I make - whether in my head or on paper - they seem to have the best time unravelling. I can only hope that in this instance they don't dissolve too much. 

I guess I should briefly explain what is going on right now with me that has caused this change of plans. A couple of weeks ago i was walking down the carpeted stairs in our house, wearing my slippers. One moment I was at the top about to head downstairs & the next I was half way down the stairs on my butt, with the hand that I'd thrown up to stop myself twisted up behind me. The most typically "me" part of the whole situation is that I stood up, finished walking down the stairs & brushed the whole thing off to my my mom who was obviously concerned for me. I even laughingly said something along the lines of "that's gonna hurt". Note to self on this crazy adventure of life - YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS IS ALMOST ALWAYS RIGHT!. On this occasion I didn't listen to the voice in my head & went to work the next morning, did my job and lifted books for the better part of the day. The next morning when I couldn't even get out of bed I had to admit that I couldn't just wish this away. Several doctors appointments & x-ray & ultrasounds later it was confirmed that I have a torn rotator cuff in my right shoulder. Ugh. 

Now all this has left me more than slightly stressed. I'm a worry-wart anyway but now knowing that I have no other option but to take things slow & do what I'm told. I can't rush my recovery - much as I tried to do the first couple of days - I just have to sit back & do what the doctor orders. In case you're wondering, that's basically nothing, no driving, no work, no lifting, pretty much no use of my right arm. One of the only upsides is that my inner fangirl is feeling pretty contented with the amount of TV that I've been watching. 

Now as to what this means for the trip that I leave on in less than a month - in fact as I'm writing this it is basically one month EXACTLY from when I am scheduled to be touching down in Seattle. So far I haven't changed the travel portion of the plans & I don't intend to change the plans until someone comes out & says to me "No, you can't go" I haven't heard that so as far as I'm concerned it is still all go. I may not be as ready for the trip as I'd planned but I still determined that I'm going to get there. Something I think I proved pretty early on in my life is that when I decide I'm doing something it gets done!! In the immediate future, I see the doctor again tomorrow & in the meantime I will remain sat back, trying not to do anything I shouldn't. Continue my Sons of Anarchy marathon perhaps - and keep hoping for the best!! 

Single geeky female... makes lists

As i write this I am officially T-minus four months & three days from leaving on my adventure. Now I know that might seem to be quite far away still but over the last few days I have been coming to the dawning realization that what this time really is turning into is a looming pile - of lists. I can't, hell I won't, claim to be the most organized person in the world. Actually as anyone that I've ever lived or worked with can attest I am generally one of those people who tends to work best if I leave everything until the last possible moment & then in the frantic rush to get everything done hopefully something wonderful - or failing that at least passable occurs.  I am pretty sure that this approach isn't going to work out in this situation however. It's just now dawning on my slow brain that this is it - essentially this is me, at the ripe age of soon-to-be-twenty-five growing up & moving out, away from my family & everything I know to THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD!!

Yes, theoretically i knew this before - but it's only now that it is really hitting home. I'm not planning on being back in New Zealand for at least 18 months and although part of me would love to think that my room filled with all my multitude of stuff will stay as my families shrine to me, its simply not practical. Nor is kidding myself thinking that the clothes, books, DVDs, posters, & just general pieces of my life can stay - or that i would indeed want them to stay - cluttering up space in my Mums house. So this thought process leads me to my 'new' thing. To-do lists. There were some already, I'll freely admit. What needs to be purchased before I go away, what bills need to be paid, how many pairs of undies I think  need to packed, but now there is the prospect of even more listing. More organization. Planning - especially when to find the time for all of the sorting, packing, unpacking, donating, throwing away, changing my mind & hurriedly taking out of the bin, repacking, deciding what to do with all those things that I've hung on to 'just in case' & finally boxing up what will need to be stored,  I will tell you now it is a prospect that for me, is scary as hell. 

I've started trying to think in terms of 'what else needs to be done before I leave' - which is still quite unbelievable when you consider that it was only back in February that I was sending off the visa application & so nervous that it might not happen at all!! What is probably going to really bring this home to me is when I do have to start packing up. I have 30 kilograms of luggage that I can take with me - which lets face it by the time I have packed away all the tech that must come with me leaves about 20 kilograms!! - & the few small (light) things that I can post over in the coming few months but that is essentially it. 

Wow it really is an interesting - or perhaps overwhelming would be the better term - prospect. It will definitely be a big change for me. One, to simply not have the number of possessions that I have grown accustomed too & two, that while I'm over in Canada I will have to change my habits - I won't have the freedom to spend the money to buy things that I want rather than need & of course if I do buy anything I would have to decide what to do with it as more that likely I couldn't take it with me when I left. Thinking about it seriously this will probably be the biggest change in myself, yet another thing that I hadn't anticipated before starting this journey. You couldn't compare me to a hoarder - or at least i hope not! - but I, like I think most people will admit too, have a lot of 'stuff' that has collected over the course of my life & I am happy to admit the prospect of  having to pack it up is not one I am looking forward too. I think another one of the lists that I'll have to start is who can come on what days to help me pack & sort. Actually that is quite a happy idea the thought of having a packing team - I'll probably need at least that much intervention!! 

So to the people that will be on my list & will hopefully, come & help me in this - thank you in advance. To the people who are going to have to listen to me moan & protest about it in the meantime - I'm sorry. And finally to the people who will have to put up with the stuff I just can't bare to part with cluttering up their space - I love you. And like a good friend said to me today - 125 days to go!! Can you imagine? I think this is the first time that I am really starting to.